When your life is in darkness, Pray to God and ask Him to
free you from darkness..... and
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Doctor - trust me lady, I am a gentleman.
If you are still in darkness. Please pay your Electrical bill.
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When a man opens the door of his car for his wife,
You can be sure of one thing;
Either the car is new or the wife.
What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,... Tension is when
girlfriend is pregnant.
Panic is when both are pregnant.
Grammar Teacher: Do you know the importance of a period?
Kid: Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom
fainted, dad got a heart attack & our driver ran away...
A young boy asks
his Dad :"What is the difference between confident and confidential?
Dad says: "You are my son, I'm confident about that.
Your friend over there, is also my son, that is confidential.
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Lady patient says to Doctor inside his examination room,
Doctor can you please call my husband inside, I am not feeling comfortable.
Doctor - trust me lady, I am a gentleman.
Lady patient - no that's not the issue. Your receptionist is
alone outside and my husband is not a gentleman...!
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You are the PRINCIPAL of the school
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A man is recovering from surgery when the Surgical Nurse appears and asks him how he is feeling.
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Early one morning a mother went to her sleeping son and woke
him up, “ Wake up, son. It’s time to go to school.”
SON : “Awww Mom! I don’t want to go to school.”
MOM : “Give me two reasons why you don’t want to go to
school.”
SON :
“One, all the children hate me.
Two, all the teachers hate me.”
MOM : “Oh! that’s not a reason. Come on, you have to go to
school.”
SON : “ OK. You give me two good reasons WHY I should go to
school?”
MOM :
One, you are FIFTY-TWO years old, And should understand your responsibilities.
Two.....
You are the PRINCIPAL of the school
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An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a
curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.
The Wizard says, 'Maybe, but you will have to tell me the
exact words that were used to put the curse on you.'
The old man says without hesitation, 'I now pronounce you
man and wife.'
A little boy went up to his father and asked: 'Dad, where did
my intelligence come from?'
The father replied: 'Well, son, you must have got it from
your mother, cause I still have mine.'
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'Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,' the
divorce Court Judge said, 'And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week,'
'That's very fair, your honor,' the husband said. 'And every
now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself.'
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A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the
Emergency Room, took the husband aside, and said, 'I don't like the looks of
your wife at all.'
'Me neither doc,' said the husband.
'But she's a great cook and really good with the kids.'
A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, 'Can you tell me how
long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?'
The agent replies, 'Just a minute.'
'Thank you,' the blonde says, and hangs up.
Moe: 'My wife got me to believe in religion.'
Joe: 'Really?'
Moe: 'Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in Hell.'
A man is recovering from surgery when the Surgical Nurse appears and asks him how he is feeling.
'I'm O. K. But I didn't like the four letter-words the doctor
used in surgery,' he answered. 'What did he say,' asked the nurse.
'Oops!'
While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed
a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds
since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so sought my husband's
advice. 'What do you think?' I asked. 'Should I get a bikini or an
all-in-one?'
'Better get a bikini,' he replied. 'You'd never get it all
in one.'
He's still in intensive care.
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Sardar & his wife went for counseling.
Wife had issues of neglect & loneliness.
Dr. got up hugged her tight & kissed her for 5 minutes
& said "This is what she needs thrice a week. Can you do
it?"
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