English Jokes (Vol 10)

Why do we sometimes write 'etc' at the end in the exam?
bcoz it means
E - End of
T - Thinking
C - Capacity.

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How to Create d Biggest Doubt in ur Wife's Mind 4 u ?
Just Suddenly send her SMS Saying..
"I Luv u too" (GAME OVER!)

 

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When do you know u r in love ?
Ans : When you start searching for the cheapest mobile plan

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What is the Diff b/w Young Age & Old Age?
Simple : In Young Age Phone Is Full Of Darlings Numbers.
In Old Age : Its Full of Doctors Numbers.

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"Why is Facebook such a hit ?
It works on the principle that
'People are more interested in others life than their own.

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We Pronounce 22 as Twenty Two,
33 as Thirty Three,
44 as Forty Four,
55 as Fifty Five,
Why not 11 as Onety One?
Doubt By last bench association.

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What is the diff between "GHAZAL" & "LECTURE" ?
Every word spoken by the girlfriend is "GHAZAL"
and
Every word spoken by wife is "LECTURE"

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Whats d diff btwn Pongal n idly?
think...think..think...
Ans : U ll get a holiday for pongal but not for idly.

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What is the height of confusion?
Two earth worms Playing HIDE AND SEEK in a Plate full of noodles.

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What is the Benefit of having a crush in the same college where u study ?
Ans 100% Attendanzzz

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Teacher: What Is The Difference Between HIMAMI & TSUNAMI ?
Pappu : HIMAMI is Face Wash, TSUNAMI is Total Wash.!

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When you are in love,
Wonders happen.
But once you get married,
You wonder, what happened.

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Philosophy of marriage :
At the beginning,  every wife treats her husband as GOD..
Later, somehow don't know why.. alphabets get reversed..

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Secret formula for married couples...
"Love One Another"
And if it doesn't work , bring the last word in the middle.!!!!

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The door bell rings in a flat and the woman who is alone in the house opens the door ..

Beggar - "Amma please give me something"

Woman - "here take"

Beggar - "please come out and give"

Woman - "OK"

Beggar - "ha ha ha, I am Ravan"

Woman - "Ha ha ha, I am not Sita, I am the maid

Beggar - " Ha ha ,even better, I still regret carrying away Sita, Mandodari will be happy, we want a maid ..

Woman - "Ha ha, Only Ram came searching for Sita. If I vanish, all the people in the building will come searching for me..."

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A man was driving a car ...

A fat lady on a scooty overtook him !!

Man shouted : "Hey Buffalo"

Lady turned back and shouted : "You donkey, idiot, stupid monkey"

Suddenly she had an accident

She was hit by a buffalo crossing the road

MORAL : "Ladies never understand what a Man wants to say"...
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Wife: I lost my keys again !

Husband: It's in your Jeans.

Wife: Don't drag my family into this....

MORAL : Women never listen properly

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Husband’s Message (by cellphone):

Honey,  I got hit by a car outside of the office.  Teena brought me to the Hospital. They have been making tests and taking X-rays. The blow to my head though very strong, will not have any serious or lasting injury. But, I have three broken ribs, a broken arm, a compound fracture in the left leg, and they may have to amputate the right foot.

Wife’s Response:

Who is Teena?
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Sheikh was talking to his travel agent....

Sheikh: I am about ready for a vacation. Only this year, I am going to do it a little differently....

The last few years, I have been taking your advice on where to go....

Three years ago you said go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and spent some days and my wife Razia got pregnant.....

Then two years ago, you told me to enjoy Bahamas, and Razia got
pregnant again....

Last year you suggested Tahiti and Razia once again got pregnant.....

Travel agent: So, what are you going to do this year that is different?....

Sheikh replied: This year I'm taking Razia with me